


I Lie Awake and Miss You

by RoarinxRory



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Cuddling, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Sleepy Spock and Jim, Spock and Jim just want to snug, T'hy'la, missing each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 09:02:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7970896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoarinxRory/pseuds/RoarinxRory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>As many times as I blink, I'll think of you tonight.</i><br/> <br/>Jim hasn't seen Spock since last night, and he is unsettled by his boyfriend's absence. Little does he know that he is not alone, even when he's feeling lonely.</p><p>Or, in which Jim and Spock are apart and can't stand it, and in which their reunion results in mutual elation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Lie Awake and Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> Pure fluff. 'Nuff said. This is my official apology for [I Can Be a Hero](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7898479). I highly advise listening to Owl City's Vanilla Twilight while reading. The boys are finally getting the love from me they deserve. Enjoy! <3 --Rory

**** It's just one of those nights for Jim, the type that has him feeling unreasonably cold. He can't tell why, and he doesn't have much care to, so he scratches the back of his neck, sits on the edge of his bed, and steps on the heel of one boot to pull it off. It wasn't a particularly taxing day. For once, Jim managed to not completely screw up a diplomatic meeting, much to the  _ Enterprise _ crew’s pleasure, not having to beam up their captain and then fight off any hostile aliens that happened to be in the midst of jumping him while he made his escape from disaster. Yes, the day was a general success, but it was also spent in disinterest and isolation. He hardly chanced a break from the huge, scrutinizing, and quite honestly creepy eyes of the piscean race which hosted him, and when he did, he used his time to catch his breath and rethink what it was he was supposed to say and which gifts to present in which order.

The paperwork that greeted him when he came back aboard wasn't an overly exciting welcome party, either, but Jim nudged the pile over to the side of his desk for the next day. Now, he thinks sleep is the best idea. That is, if he can manage to. One boot on the floor, Jim toes the other off and flings his socks away. A laziness drifts about him, weighing his legs down, trying to persuade him that his uniform is comfortable enough to wear for the rest of the night. Jim is about to yield when he considers just how much  _ more  _ comfortable pajamas would be. Besides, his shirt is a bit gooey still from the hand print the Opthalmian ambassador left on his shoulder. He peels the yellow over his head and discards it near his boots, contemplating if it's acceptable to shed his pants in a similar fashion and to just rest in his underwear.  _ What would Spock think?  _ he laughs to himself, playfully conjuring the vignette of his Vulcan scolding him for his irrationality.

Snorting with disbelief at his own ridiculousness, Jim shimmies on pants and a loose t-shirt. Yes, this is so much better. He internally thanks the imaginary Spock in his brain and sweeps his clothes into his arms before depositing them in his laundry basket. Jim twirls a little, dancing on his tiptoes before falling onto his bed. He's not so different from a teenager here, wistfully wondering where his boyfriend is and in turn restlessly fidgeting. Even though Spock generally wakes significantly earlier to meditate, Jim was up and about before his first officer to ready himself for the outing on Opthalmia, so Jim really hasn't seen his boyfriend since the night before when they played chess in Jim’s room. He shifts his weight as he rolls onto his right side, adjusting a pillow to press against his back as an artificial cuddle buddy and also tugging the covers up.  _ Not warm enough, _ he frowns. It's a childish sort of notion, but the absence of Spock in these moments violently disrupts his repose.

_ Where are you…? _ He forces his eyes shut, wiggling a bit against the pillow to hopefully create enough friction for heat. Spock is busy, he assures himself, and it’s not as though the Vulcan can just join him whenever he’s feeling on the lonely side. He’s the first officer of a starship, for goodness’ sake, and if Jim is curled up in his sheets,  _ someone _ has to be looking out for things. Puffing air from his nose, Jim shoots up from bed and taps rhythmically on his knee before pacing back and forth in his quarters. He pads quietly on the balls of his feet over his carpet, more of a need to distract himself than get the strange tingle out of his legs. Then, a dread washes over him as he panickedly asks himself,  _ What if something is wrong and he didn’t want to wake me?  _ Jim swallows thickly and chews his lip, his tongue scrubbing the backs of his teeth. He’s wholly certain that such is not the case, but can he be blamed for worrying a little?

“Tch…” he clicks his tongue. “Spock…”

Blood flushing his cheeks, Jim scolds himself for being overbearing. Spock is the working man, and he’s the fretful girlfriend waiting on him into the night.  _ Get a grip, man! _ he frowns at the door of their connecting bathroom. Might Spock be in his own room? Why wouldn’t he say hello to Jim first? Perhaps he’s really tired? It can’t hurt to check, so he takes awkwardly long strides to poke his head around. Nothing. Well, at least Jim can rule out Spock just being rude or inconsiderate. He pivots quickly and waltzes himself right to his desk, where that Opthalmian paperwork is taunting him. Grimacing, he actually thinks about  _ working _ , but God forbid Jim be anything more than the laziest captain in Starfleet. An exaggerated groan collapses from him and drops less than gracefully onto the floor. His shoulders droop, and Jim can really use a pick-me-up, just in time for a bit of a tummy grumble. Gosh, food sounds heavenly, like it’s the one thing that might satisfy him enough to sleep besides Spock.

He stretches a hand to key in a snack in the replicator, humming contentedly when he takes a bite of a chocolate chip cookie and sips from his glass of warm milk.  _ Would this make Spock sleepy or tipsy?  _ Jim muses. He chuckles at the idea of a green hue at his Vulcan’s cheeks just from eating the sweets. So easily does Jim’s mind wander to his first officer. He’s surprised they haven’t bonded yet, but he knows the only one with opposition to the union  _ may _ be Sarek, and that in itself is of questionable validity. There’s another noise, a sigh, and Jim is moving again. He needs to sleep, really. He needs to pass out and wait until morning to see Spock, which shouldn't actually be all that much of a challenge, but Jim is yearning for Spock, for his  _ t’hy’la _ .

With much reluctance, Jim relinquishes his cookie and milk and returns to his bed with a somewhat firmer resolve to rest.  _ Sleep, _ he wills, but he's just too damn  _ cold _ . He shivers, muscles tensing as he draws his arms into his chest and his knees up.  _ Sleep _ , he tries again, and though he can’t imagine he’ll be dreaming, Jim lets his limbs go limp, his breath to slow, and pleasant darkness to engulf his vision. His pillow substitute is inferior in nearly every fashion, but it can be Spock for now, so he gently, affectionately murmurs his lover’s name, pretending for a moment that he can feel fingers brushing against his hand and lips on the nape of his neck.

* * *

It begins with a creak of the bed, a crease in the sheets. A sigh flutters in the 2am air, beating its wings before landing delicately on Jim’s skin as a kiss. Kneeling still on all fours, Spock creeps nearer to his captain. His gaze lands on one of Jim’s pillows, now crushed between his strong arms. He shakes his head, knowing fully well that this plush little thing was intended to be his replacement. Reaching out carefully, he traces the muscle of Jim’s bicep, down his forearm, to his fingers and begins to undo the tension there. As he caresses, he can feel Jim melt into the mattress, all tightness in his body dissipating to oblivion. Spock smiles at the sensation.

Jim shifts as Spock pulls the pillow from his grasp and situates it next to Jim’s fluffy bedhead. Already dressed in sleepwear, Spock slides underneath the thin upper layer of sheets and wraps an arm around Jim’s waist. As if by instinct, Jim scooches backward to press his back to Spock’s chest.

“Sp’ck…” the captain delightfully tries to speak through his drowsiness. His voice croaks, rasps in its misuse that evening, so he silently radiates a strong joy, aware that Spock will detect it through his touch.

“ _ Ka’i, ashayam _ ,” Spock exhales into Jim’s hair. “I am right here. I apologize for not informing you punctually, but there was an unplanned experiment which required specifically my supervision.”

Jim makes a purring sort of noise with his assent as well as his forgiveness. After all, the  _ warmth _ that he craved before is finally home by his side. Any facet of lonesomeness has fled, fondness rushing to take its place. This feeling, the one which embraces his entire form and glimmers with nothing but happiness and promise, vibrates from his toes to the tips of his ears, as regrettably round and not pointy they may be.

After kissing up Jim’s spine, Spock nuzzles Jim’s neck with his nose and tightens his hold. Spock fears that Jim believes he was not distressed by their distance, and if Jim had had those misconceptions, Spock endeavors to wipe them away as he projects his dedication and adoration for the man nestled peacefully in his arms.

“I know, Spock.” Jim takes Spock’s hand in his own and presses his lips to each of his knuckles. Fuzzy effects of sleep buzzing in his head, Jim can only piece together fragments of contemplation, but among those bits, there is the overwhelmingly pleasant notion that he is undeniably, incomparably cherished. “I love you, too.”

And with these thrilling thoughts, Jim wonders, for as long as he lives, for those times when they are not fitted together in a physical manifestation of the closeness of their souls, how he will ever stop missing Spock.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Ka'i_ \- "I'm right here."  
>  _Ashayam_ \- "Beloved"  
>  Thanks so much for reading! Thanks beta babe marleneonmyshoulder. Happy endings are much better, right? Hahaha all my love <3 --Rory


End file.
